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Hey all, Monkeys eat bananas adn One day we can take over adn rule tha world iight?! PEACE!

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Thursday, January 27, 2005
its been a while

havent wrote in a while but yeha i have dropped out of school my father walked out on us so its just my mother adn i i have fallen in love with a guy named Jason he is great i found out that he dont really love me adn yeah that bites ass.  on tha brighter side i have come up with some good poems.. i have started at State Fair Community College. but yeah theres alot of things going on... a few months ago 2 of my best friends died John Brandon Bartee adn Brock Allen Kruger. John died on september 9 2004 adn brock died september 11 2004 thats no good not at all on september 7 2003 my girlfriend/bestfriend died. so 1 yr adn 2 days apart Jo-Lynn died adn Brandon died. i was there when brandon wrecked he was still alive when they took his leg off he was trapped in his truck adn that was tha only way that they could get him out. i was tha last to see him alive. to hear his voice. its pretty fucked i think but in a way its ok. but im gunna sign off adn ill try to write in here later so talk at you then..


Posted at 3:39 pm by playgirl-69
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Sunday, January 02, 2005
Jo-Lynn... you never know whats gunna happen

A Warsaw teen died Sunday following a two-car crash Saturday afternoon in Benton County.

Jo-Lynn Carnes, 13, died at University of Missouri Hospital and Clinics in Columbia at about 9 a.m. Sunday, the Missouri State Highway Patrol said. She was a passenger in a car driven by Joe Carnes, 36, also of Warsaw.

Jo-Lynn was a student at Lincoln Junior High School.

According to an accident report, a vehicle driven by Pearley Crawford, 66, of Sedalia, was turning left from state Route BB onto a private drive on a hill at 4:30 p.m. Saturday. The Carnes vehicle crested the hill and slid into the passenger side of the Crawford vehicle, according to the report.

Both Pearley Crawford and a passenger, Margaret Crawford, 71, of Sedalia, were ejected from the passenger side door, the Highway Patrol said. Pearley Crawford was taken to Bothwell Regional Health Center and Margaret Crawford was taken by helicopter to University of Missouri Hospital in Columbia, according to the accident report.

Mr. Carnes refused treatment, according to the report. Officials with University Hospital did not return a call seeking a condition report for Margaret Crawford. A condition report for Pearley Crawford was not available Monday from Bothwell Regional Health Center.

you never know whats going to happen this is adn was my best friend she never thought it would happen to her but look.. it did please stay safe adn watch whats goin on around you cause you never know if your next........

RIP Jo-Lynn i love you.....

Posted at 4:37 pm by playgirl-69
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Friday, November 12, 2004


I write this letter to let u know
that u are not the reason.
i just cant put up with it any more
i just cant live.
u are the reason i lasted so long
with u i have lived longer than i thought
but live your life .
as they say im worthless

Posted at 5:34 pm by playgirl-69
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What I did to you


I feel so guilty
I made you angry
I'm really sorry
I'd wish you'd see
Everyday i think,
about what i did to you.
I truly do feel horrible
and that's the honest truth
I know i did the wrong thing
when i did what i did
Although i told you about it

I'll never be able to get rid
of my friggin guilty conscience.
That tells me everyday
certain things i never said
It's nagging me to say
I love you with all my heart
Though your really pissed with me
Here's a question,
I miss you soo much, but do you miss me?
Sometimes I cry
when i hear certain songs
I hasnt been forever
but its already been too long
I'm sorry for the way
I made you feel
But now that were over i realize
that my love for you is real
I think of you all the time
and realize what i'd done
I needed to confront my problem
but i decided to run
Please I'm begging
Come back and be with me
And this time i promise
I will make you see
That i love you with all of my heart

Posted at 5:30 pm by playgirl-69
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Seriously in love with you


Your spirit runs through my soul.
Your the only one who makes me whole.

You broke my heart in half.
Then you started to fuckin laugh

You look at me like i dont exist
But sometimes you make me fucking pissed

When i look into your eyes
I can see past all the lies

Emotions run through my mind
I really hope you learn to find

When you stole my broken heart
I felt like you hit me with a dart

How can you be so fucking clueless?
You say I'm just a big mess

You have no clue how i felt
When i look at you my heart starts to melt

I only wish you could see
What you really mean to me

I know you dont think its true
But I seriously am in love with you

Posted at 5:29 pm by playgirl-69
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6 weeks old today mummy
A birthday gift for me
A pair of big blue eyes
that one day i will see
Where are we going mummy
with the rain splashing down.
When it hits the sidewalk
it makes a funny sound
Bang through the big white doors
people dressed in green.
if they hurt you mummy
just run away and scream.
Help me mummy their tearing me apart.
and there goes my big blue eyes
there goes my little heart.
I love you mummy believe me i do.
But the worst thing is,
I though you loved me too.

Posted at 5:28 pm by playgirl-69
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In the dark
All alone crying
no one cares about you
even if you feel like dying

Emotions run through your head
thinking no one would care if your dead
so you lye on your bed
and think of how you could end your life
You go to your dresser and get your knife
To end your life you must say good bye
to the people that want you to die
What's the point in living?
Why should you try?
If no one cares and eveyone lies
You bet no one cares if you die
You feel this way because of yourself
You wish you could change
and be someone else
You dont care anymore
You say good-bye to the ones you adore
You pick up your knife
You say good-bye
to the few who actually care
You cut your throat
to end an unwanted life

Posted at 5:27 pm by playgirl-69
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every one


Every one leaving
Every ones gone

So why should
I stay behind
with the pain
of memories

i try to bled
but i cant cuz

i have so much
to live for

but yet i dont
because your

(this is not bout
who u think)

Posted at 5:27 pm by playgirl-69
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Why dose everyone have this image
Of whatr we should look like
Don't we get a choice on what we wear

The thing is:

That this is who i am
This is who ill be tommarow
And this is me
Not some Fake preppy girl who has everything
Im a poor punk goth so get used to it

So stop staring i were black
These are my Friends
Prink is not my color
and i dont were glossy lipstick

Im a night crawler i like manson slipknow and others.
This is me get used to it!

Posted at 5:23 pm by playgirl-69
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in my grave

roses are black

tulips- blood red

i made things wrong

therefore i am dead


mistakes were made

wrong choices too

dead in my grave

skin cold, lips-pale blue


dried blood on my wrist

that was once running down

family watches as i am buried

upon me they frown


tears are shed

respects are paid

as i drift to where i am going

i think of what you said


you said that i mean nothing

that i dont deserve to live

you told me im a big mistake

that to me, your love, youd never give


so now you cry

                as i am dead in my grave

mournfully wondering why

Posted at 5:23 pm by playgirl-69
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